Today I intend to....

I am having a really bad year. 2017 has not been so good to me. I am trying so hard to stand up and be strong. "You are stronger than you think" has been my mantra for the last few months. I have to constantly remind myself that I am strong, I can do this and I am more than my problem. Some days I feel happy and on top of the world, and some days I felt so depress and broken. It has been one hell of a ride. 
The only thing that I can do at the moment is to take day one day at a time. If I can survive today than I will survive tomorrow. Focus all of my energy to stay positive. 

So today I intend to....




 ..... focus on my packing lists for Turkey 
 ..... make a lists of all the things I wanted to see in Turkey
 ..... do one hour of exercise 
 ..... eat less and move more
 ..... watch "Fresh Out of the Boat" on hulu
 ..... download two workout videos on my iPad
 ..... prepare my hand luggage for my trip
 ..... research on Kindle Oasis 2017
 ..... update my blog
 ..... do some journaling
 ..... coloring while listening to 'Behind Her Eyes" audiobook
 ..... dance like no one's watching
 ..... smile more

Gengpanjattangga makes a comeback

It has been a long time since the last time we did this activity together. Ever since the July incident I just don't have the energy to take care of myself. I was thinking what's the point. The thought of escaping this life was overwhelming. Then I had a medical checkup and my cholesterol level was not great. I need to take control of life and my health. Taking care of myself and be the best version of myself. My only goal now is exercise, be fit and travel the world.

Next place on my wishlist - Beijing, Korea, New Zealand, Balkan and watch Northen Light. I am hoping to cross off this list in the next five years. Amin.....

Book Haul // my son choose books for me

I have been buying books for as long as I can remember. I used to buy Malay books a long time ago but somehow I just stop. I don't know why. Maybe because I don't really know the author from this generation and I totally forgot all the local authors I used to love and read.

So today I decided to let my son choose three books from local author and I am not going to say anything about it. I just let fate decide. I really need to read outside of my comfort zone and expand my reading experience. 

Oooo I am so nervous...

HERE ARE THE BOOKS THAT MY SON CHOOSE FOR ME



1. Projek Seram POKOK by Ebriza Aminnudin, Aziah Zainal and Syasya Bellyna


I am not a fan of scary stories , so this book might not be in my radar. I hope I am brave enough to read it. 

2. Rule untuk Calon Isteri by Azwin Zulkapli
This is a contemporary book about marriage and second chances. I usually have a lot of trouble reading Malay love stories because sometimes the story doesn't make any sense. I am going to keep an open mind and just read the book



3. Heroku Anak Emak by Iffa Zalia
Another contemporary love story book which explore the dynamic and complicated relationship in marriage. Erghh the title alone makes me cringe. 



That's the three Malay novels I purchased in a really long time. I wanted so bad to fall in love with Malay books , hopefully this will be the book that is going to make me explore more.

----------------------------------------------

As a book lover, I have to buy books for myself too. So I choose ....

I am a backpacker - Turki by Shafiq Shafie - just because I am going to Turki next month and I wanted to know more about the places I'm going to go.



And the second one is I'm a Backpacker: Europe by Khairul Abdullah - just because I have been dreaming of traveling to Europe for the longest time. This will definitely be the next place I want to visit. 



I like learning about the culture, the people and the history of all the places I go. Maybe one day I will have enough money and ample time to make my dream comes true. I always imagine that I go travel with my son after his graduation. Be with each and at the same time experience the world together for the first time.

5 Books I want to read before end of the year

November is always the busiest month of the year. So many things need to wrap up and finished before December comes. I am still way behind on my reading goals for this year. I am happy that I still continue reading even though sometimes I feel like I want to sleep and not wake up. I like stories and I love memory keeping, the two activities that help me during my darkest time. I am glad that this year I discovered a lot of great books that has been sitting on my ebook shelf waiting for me to read. 



HERE ARE FIVE BOOKS THAT I WANT TO READ BEFORE END OF THE YEAR

1. PINES by Blake Crouch
I like his book Dark Matter and I wanted to read Wayward Pines series. I have watch the TV series on hulu and I really enjoyed.

"Secret service agent Ethan Burke arrives in Wayward Pines, Idaho, with a clear mission: locate and recover two federal agents who went missing in the bucolic town one month earlier. But within minutes of his arrival, Ethan is involved in a violent accident. He comes to in a hospital, with no ID, no cell phone, and no briefcase. The medical staff seems friendly enough, but something feels…off. As the days pass, Ethan’s investigation into the disappearance of his colleagues turns up more questions than answers. Why can’t he get any phone calls through to his wife and son in the outside world? Why doesn’t anyone believe he is who he says he is? And what is the purpose of the electrified fences surrounding the town? Are they meant to keep the residents in? Or something else out? Each step closer to the truth takes Ethan further from the world he thought he knew, from the man he thought he was, until he must face a horrifying fact—he may never get out of Wayward Pines alive." excerpt from amazon.com

2. Sleeping Beauties by Stephen King and Owen King
This is definitely one huge book. I am not sure if I will be picking up this book in November but I really want to read it. 

"In a future so real and near it might be now, something happens when women go to sleep: they become shrouded in a cocoon-like gauze. If they are awakened, if the gauze wrapping their bodies is disturbed or violated, the women become feral and spectacularly violent. And while they sleep they go to another place, a better place, where harmony prevails and conflict is rare.

One woman, the mysterious “Eve Black,” is immune to the blessing or curse of the sleeping disease. Is Eve a medical anomaly to be studied? Or is she a demon who must be slain? Abandoned, left to their increasingly primal urges, the men divide into warring factions, some wanting to kill Eve, some to save her. Others exploit the chaos to wreak their own vengeance on new enemies. All turn to violence in a suddenly all-male world" excerpt from amazon.com

3. The Good Daughter by Karin Slaughter
I am a fan of Karin Slaughter book. I basically will read most of her book. I wanted to read this book for the longest time but somehow I just didn't get to it yet.

"Two girls are forced into the woods at gunpoint. One runs for her life. One is left behind…Twenty-eight years ago, Charlotte and Samantha Quinn's happy small-town family life was torn apart by a terrifying attack on their family home. It left their mother dead. It left their father — Pikeville's notorious defense attorney — devastated. And it left the family fractured beyond repair, consumed by secrets from that terrible night" excerpt from amazon.com

4. Behind Her Eyes by Sarah Pinborough
I am definitely a sucker for psychological thriller. I hear a lot of good things about this book. I can't wait to read it.

"Louise is a single mom, a secretary, stuck in a modern-day rut. On a rare night out, she meets a man in a bar and sparks fly. Though he leaves after they kiss, she’s thrilled she finally connected with someone.

When Louise arrives at work on Monday, she meets her new boss, David. The man from the bar. The very married man from the bar…who says the kiss was a terrible mistake, but who still can’t keep his eyes off Louise.

And then Louise bumps into Adele, who’s new to town and in need of a friend. But she also just happens to be married to David. And if you think you know where this story is going, think again, because Behind Her Eyes is like no other book you’ve read before.

David and Adele look like the picture-perfect husband and wife. But then why is David so controlling? And why is Adele so scared of him?" excerpt from amazon.com

5. Beyond Limits by Laura Giffin
I have not read any books by Laura Giffin. I decided to give this book a try just because I love detective book. This book is a number 8 in Tracers series. I am hoping that I can follow the stories without reading the first 7 books in this series.

"FBI agent Elizabeth LeBlanc is still caught in the aftermath of her last big case when she runs into the one man from her past who is sure to rock her equilibrium even more. Navy SEAL Derek Vaughn is back home from a harrowing rescue mission in which he found evidence of a secret terror cell on US soil. Elizabeth knows he’ll do anything to unravel the plot—including seducing her for information. And despite the risks involved, she’s tempted to let him. Together with the forensics experts at the Delphi Center, Derek and Elizabeth are closing in on the truth, but it may not be fast enough to avert a devastating attack" excerpt from amazon.com

I am currently reading PINES and THE SHARK by Mary Burton (Forgotten Files Series). I am almost finished and I can't wait to start reading the book in this lists.

Love Life

Life is hard and Life is also Beautiful. No matter how hard life gets, never give up and never stop believing that you are meant for something great. Take one day at a time, breath slowly and smile. 
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

15 // All about you

08.11.2017: Happy Birthday to my dear daughter
May all of your dreams comes true



Fifteen years ago today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl . I feel so lucky to have this opportunity to be your mother. You makes being a girl so much fun.



My hope for you ...
- Be extra careful with all the boys and men in your life. 
- Never forget Allah - solah every single day
- Recite Quran daily
- Be the best that you can be
- Always stay positive and happy
- Don't be afraid to make more money
- Never let a man dictate what you can and cannot do
- Be your own person
- Be comfortable in your own skin
- Love yourself more
- eat well 
- live a healthy lifestyle
- read more
- have ideas and dream big

Red Velvet by Acik Lana // book review

I have not read a Malay book in a really long time. I want to discover new local writers and want to enjoy reading them. So far I haven't found anything that I like.
When I found out about this book from a friend, I was intrigued so I decided to give this book a chance. 



What the book is about?
"Helena tidak mempedulikan tohmahan mahupun kata-kata nista orang sekeliling bila dia ingin berkahwin dengan Fareeq yang merupakan suami orang. Lantaklah! Janji dia bahagia. Malangnya, Fareeq tidak menepati janjinya untuk mengahwini Helena. Perbuatannya itu menyebabkan Helena kecewa setengah mati.

Dalam mengharungi kehidupannya yang huru-hara, Helena bertemu dengan Izzat yang sinis, ego, berlagak tak bertempat. Semua ini menambahkan kekusutan di kepala Helena. Baker bajet hot yang bekerja di bakeri cabuk itu sentiasa mencari pasal dengan Helena. Ada sahaja yang tak kena di matanya. Dan keadaan semakin tegang apabila keadaan memaksa Helena bekerja dengan Izzat di bakeri yang sama. Hinggalah… hati mereka bertaut dengan kasih. Namun, rahsia Helena terbongkar sewaktu mereka berdua asyik menyulam cinta. Macam mana bila lelaki yang anti homewrecker, berdepan dengan homewrecker itu sendiri?" excerpt from Goodreads.com

What do I think?

Oh boy, where do I begin? I started reading the book until chapter 15 and then I just can't read anymore. I wanted so bad to love the characters and the love story but I am not. I skipped a head a few chapters hoping that the more I get into the story the more I will like it but that did not happened. So I decided to stop reading. It might not be fair for me to review the book when I did not finished reading but I just wanted to document my experience in this blog so that I remember what type of book I don't enjoyed as well. I just cannot get into her writing style and I don't care that much about the characters. The only thing that I love about the book is red velvet cake heheh.

I am not sure if I will recommend this book. I am so sorry if some of you really love the book. I just didn't. 

I Am Watching You by Teresa Driscoll

I am excited to read the book about the mystery of a disappearing girl. The scary thing about this was there are a lot of books written about disappearing girls that makes it so scary sometimes. 



What this book is about? 
“When Ella Longfield overhears two attractive young men flirting with teenage girls on a train, she thinks nothing of it—until she realises they are fresh out of prison and her maternal instinct is put on high alert. But just as she’s decided to call for help, something stops her. The next day, she wakes up to the news that one of the girls—beautiful, green-eyed Anna Ballard—has disappeared. A year later, Anna is still missing. Ella is wracked with guilt over what she failed to do, and she’s not the only one who can’t forget. Someone is sending her threatening letters—letters that make her fear for her life. Then an anniversary appeal reveals that Anna’s friends and family might have something to hide. Anna’s best friend, Sarah, hasn’t been telling the whole truth about what really happened that night—and her parents have been keeping secrets of their own. Someone knows where Anna is—and they’re not telling. But they are watching Ella.” excerpt from amazon.com 

What do I think?
I enjoyed reading this book but not as much as Stillhouse lake book. The theme is a bit familiar already and I am a bit disappointed with the ending. I am hoping for more stories related to Luke and Tim. I am not a fan when the author summarised everything up in an epilog. It feels a little bit rush. Other than that I enjoyed reading multiple characters point of view through out this ordeal. It definitely keep me guessing and curious enough to finish the book.

I recommend this book if you love reading about missing girls, mystery and multiple characters point of view. It's an ok book in my opinion.

October 2017 Favorites

It has been along time since I did my monthly favorites. I missed doing this little memory keeping to keep record of the things that excite me in monthly basis. I do need to this project more often. Finding the little things that made me happy. 



OCTOBER 2017 FAVORITES

• I decided to get the iPhone 8 plus instead of the iPhone X. I will share more about this in another post
• Holding the beautiful iPhone 8 plus in gold makes me happy
• I am in the middle of cleaning out all of my old CDs and DVDs collections. It's hard for me to throw them away but it has to be done. These items has fit their purposed at one time and now they no longer have a place in my home. I am happy to see some clear space. Oh boy! I do have a lot of this media in my house
• I am obsessed with Fresh off the boat. I have binge watching on hulu. I love the fact that this story took place in the 90s'. Those were the days where internet was still new and I was happy with my small little family
• I got to meet Neelofa in person at Swarvoski event. She is definitely one pretty lady. 
• I finally bought a new car on my own. It feels good to be independent. Now I have to choose a name for it. I am thinking between Jacobs and Thor or maybe Thobias. I can't decide
• I enrolled in productivity online class. I love learning about productivity and technology. I have two more class to finish
• I bought iPlanner 2018 for my goodnotes app. I am happy to finally go digital for my planner. I even do my journaling digitally. I am trying to cut back on my usage to papers in my daily life
• I am loving my current project which is to reorganise my digital assets into categories and saved them into separate hard disk. Reformat all of my hard disk into exFAT so that my data is accessible to MAC and PC.
• I finished three books in October which I think is an achievement for me
• I watched THOR: RAGNAROK in cinema with my kids. Love this movie. I can't wait for the next THOR or AVENGERS. 
• One more thing, I am also in love with Apple Watch series 3 in Gold. So beautiful. I think Apple got it right this time in terms of gold color. I do missed the rose gold color but this new gold is pretty too.

I hope you had an amazing October. No matter how horrible you think your life is try to look for the beautiful things in life. Train you mind and your brain to see the things to be grateful for. Life is too short to not to be HAPPY.