Saturday, October 12, 2013

Me Myself and I // 50 questions

I've been alive for about forty  two years now and in those amazing years I have learned a lot especially about myself. I grew up thinking and believing that I am not special, I am not worth anything and so many negative thoughts were lingering in my mind. Positive thinking was never a part of my vocabulary back then.

memyselfandI

As an adult I still struggle with low self esteem and I still learning and discovering who I am as an individual. When I discovered blogspot (way back in 2005) I’ve learned to document my life and learned about myself in the process. One of the things I love to write about is lists and Q&A style. I was intrigue when I read about 50 good questions to ask yourself and others. These are definitely questions worth exploring.

So this lovely Saturday morning I would love to answered these questions about myself

1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called?

I don't really like nicknames. I like people to call me by name. My friends call me Izah or Hanizah or Siti is totally fine.

2. What books on your shelf are begging to be read?

Getting Things done by David Allen and Under the Dome by Stephen King

3. How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like?

I like to doodle even though I am not good at it. I mostly would doodle in my notebook especially during meeting and lengthy discussion. I mostly doodle the same thing - flower, heart , geometric shape and some random lines all over the page

4. What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive?

I don't usually have this problem unless I have a lot on my mind that required my attention or when I was in labour. Mostly when it did happened I can't fall asleep, I usual listen to a few verses of quran, drink warm water and take a deep breath. I try to free my mind and focus on beautiful things that makes me happy.

5. How many days could you last in solitary confinement? How would you do it?

May be a week as long as I have internet connection and iphone with me or a good book. After a week I might feel depress.

6. Do you save old greeting cards and letters? Throw them away?

I used to throw them away. Now that I have a scanner and Evernote, I might keep some of them in my Evernote

7. Who is the biggest pack rat you know?

Me

8. When making an entrance in to a party, do you make your presence known? Do you slip in and look for someone you know? Do you sneak in quietly and find a safe spot to roost?

Slip in and find someone I know. I don't like crowd and I don't like strangers

9. What is your strongest sense? If you had to give one up, which would it be?

I am a visual person. I learn things better if I can see them and visualize them. I won't give up any. I love all my senses.

10. How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror?

Four times

11. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?

You have to work in an office to be successful. Now I know better. There are many ways to generate income other than working from 8 to 5pm, in an office

12. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up?

Chocolates

13. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know?

My daughter

14. How often do you read the newspaper? Which paper? Which sections?

I don't read newspaper. I just can't stomach all the bad news out there. 

15. Which animals scare you most? Why?

Snake. The thought of it makes me want to run. 

16. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on?

Avoid conflict if I can help it.

17. What was the most recent compliment you’ve received and savoured?

When I see my 17 months old son, smile and excited to see me. I just love the thought that he recognized me as his mother. (I think.. or maybe he sees me as his food... hehehe)

18. What is something about yourself that you hope will change, but probably never will?

Public speaking.

19. Are you a creature of habit? Explain.

Yes I am. I like routine and structure. I fall apart if I my routine suddenly changed without warning

20. Are you high maintenance? Explain.

High maintenance. I love quality and beautiful things in my daily life. Sometimes those things aren't cheap.

21. When was the last time you really pushed yourself to your physical limits?

Giving birth to my first born. I had a fever and I still had to endure 20 hours of labour and pushing my baby out. After that I was totally exhausted and couldn't get out of bed.

22. Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends? Why?

Very few close friends. I don't trust easily and I just can't handle crowd. I am more comfortable with just a few close friends.

23. Are you more inclined to “build your own empire” or unleash the potential of others?

Unleashed the potential of others. I love to inspire people to be their best.

24. What’s a strange occurrence you’ve experienced but have never (or rarely) shared with anyone?

I keep having this same dream for more than twenty years. It's very strange. The player is the same but the out come is almost the same. I've never really talk about because it might be interpret differently

25. What do you think about more than anything else?

What my life would be like if I make a different choice back in high school. I kept dreaming about it from time to time. I thought I've put it behind me. Apparently not.

26. What’s something that amazes you?

Watching how easy a baby or child learn. Every thing around him is a wonderland and also opportunity to learn something new. I wish I could have that kind of wonder and thirst for knowledge

27. Do you prefer that people shoot straight with you or temper their words? Why?

Temper their words. My feelings is very fragile and I am struggling with low self esteem. Bad words can easily hurt me like a knife can

28. Where’s your favourite place to take an out-of-town guest?

I would probably take them to visit Putrajaya, took some photos around the area and have dinner or lunch at Taman Warisan

29. What’s one thing you’d rather pay someone to do than do yourself? Why?

Paint the house. I love to paint but it took me a long period of time to complete them. Hired some one to do it is so much faster

30. Do you have a catchphrase?

Not really, maybe "Oh boy, I did it again" ( I think??? hemmm)

31. What’s your reaction towards people who are outspoken about their beliefs? What conditions cause you to dislike or, conversely, enjoy talking with them?

I've always like to learn about other people culture and beliefs. I would not strongly like or dislike them (I'll disagree with them in silence and never said anything out loud) especially when it comes to political beliefs. 

32. How and where do you prefer to study?

Usually in my room, in the middle of the night with music playing in the background

33. What position do you sleep in?

On my right side

34. What’s your all-time favourite town or city? Why?

Batu Pahat Johor. Other than it's the town where I grew up it's a small town but it has almost everything, great mall, cinema with new movies playing and not too crowded. I am thinking of spending my retire years there.

35. What are the top three qualities that draw you to someone new?

Having something in common to talk about, warm and kind

36. How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you?

I am always the responsible one. Always follow the rules.

37. If you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be?

Not brave enough to follow my dream

38. If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be?

Mine

39. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?

Sara or Hannah. I just love that name. Simple and Feminine.

40. Do you believe ignorance is bliss? Why or why not?

Unfortunately I do believe that ignorance is a bliss. I wish I never knew about what he did.

41. What do you consider unforgivable?

Betrayal by the person you love the most

42. Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not?

It's very hard to forgive yourself. I am getting there. Trying very hard to forgive myself.

43. How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

It's easy after you learn that forgiveness is for you not for other people

44.Do you hold any convictions that you would be willing to die for?

I have but I will not say it here

45. To what extent do you trust people? Explain.

I don't trust people easily especially when it comes to my heart and feelings. I do trust them to do their job. So I am not distrustful when it comes to doing your job

46. In what area of your life are you immature?

When my feelings were hurt by a person closest to me. I just can't get passed the hurt. It's hard to be rational when you have been betrayed

47. What was the best news you ever received?

The day I found out I was pregnant -- all four times.

48. How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular?

I like honesty. I try to tell the truth as much as possible. I might rewords some of the hurtful things because I believe in positive words and positive thinking

49. When did you immediately click with someone you just met? Why? What was the long term result? Conversely, are you close with anyone now that you really disliked at first?

I have never immediately click with someone I just me unless we have something in common to talk about especially photography and scrapbook. 

50. When do you find yourself singing?

In my car driving to work. It's the only time when I am alone and no one is watching or judging me

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